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Grant Cardone Is A Lizard

There was a time when I was attracted to motivational gurus and sales speakers like Grant Cardone. It happened during my “Sales Phase” as I call it. Even though I trained as a psychologist, I went through a phase where I wanted to get into selling. I decided to spend 5 years selling things, much to my parents disgust.

I felt that this episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm was an accurate representation of my experience.


I quite like learning new things, so I spent about 1 year learning to sell things. I took a job at a Mazda dealership. I found it exciting and fascinating, well for a while anyway. It was during the “learning” phase that I consumed every sales tape and motivational tape that I could find.


I noticed that, broadly speaking there are a couple of different styles that these “gurus” adopt:

  1. Inspirational aka Don’t Give Up Gurus. The name that springs to mind for this genre, is Les Brown. For some reason, I still like Les Brown. He just seems like such a genuinely nice guy. Sometimes a bit of Les Brown is like a shot in the arm. Maybe on a bad day, its all you need to get you through to your next appointment.
I Think Les Brown Would Be Fun To Hang Out With…


2. Visualise aka You Can Do Anything Gurus. These type of gurus put a lot of faith in mindset. With the right positive mindset you can do anything, yada yada. I am thinking Tony Robbins here. Once again, a bit of Tony Robbins might be the motivational snickers bar, that you need, to be the “real you”. Nothing too harmful, in my opinion.

3. Gloating Lizard Scientologists aka Grant Cardone. Grant Cardone or Uncle GC or whatever he calls himself now, is something different altogether. We all like money, yes it’s a big part of what we do. That being said, there is just something off, about Grant Cardone, that makes me think he is a ticking time bomb. For a guy like Grant Cardone, money is the be all, and end all. I actually believe, that people who think like this, are on a path to misery, albeit a path paved in cash. Some say it’s worth it, I say not.


There needs to be balance. When I talk about “Abundance”, money is one part of it, but not the only part. If you only have one type of wealth, you are headed for a mental catastrophe. One day, Grant Cardone will either, finally reveal himself to be a Lizard Priest of the Illuminati and continue with the hustle, or he will overdose in an AirBNB after a 5 day Oxy bender. The point is, Grant Cardone is rotten and not on a path to true enlightenment.

Enhanced Image From His Clearwater 10X Seminar.

The other thing that puts me off, is that Grant Cardone has weird “fans”. When I was studying, I spent a bit of time learning about how cults succeed. There is a certain type of vulnerability in some people. These vulnerable people are everywhere. I am sure that know the type, they spend their whole lives sending checks to Nigeria in between bouts of getting sucked in to weird cults, like Scientology. Check GC’s latest fan below.

Grant Cardone is A Scientologist….Seriously

If the fact that Grant Cardone is a pill popping reptile is not enough to scare you off, I have the final layer of the 10X insanity cake for you. That layer is Scientology.

LRH Pushes Out Another Masterpiece


If you don’t know what Scientology is, you are either lying, or are from North Korea, in which case I forgive you. Scientology is what you get when, a chubby Science Fiction fantasist takes off all his clothes, then sits in front of a typewriter for 2 years, all while chugging pints of liquid LSD. About half way through his opus, L Ron Hubbard thought, hmm “this is getting weird”. By the end of it though, L Ron Hubbard had set a standard for insanity that makes Tom Cruise seem merely “enthusiastic” by comparison.

Tom Cruise being “Enthusiastic”

4 Take Away Points About Grant Cardone

  • Grant Cardone has millions of zombified followers who think he is “the answer”.
  • Grant Cardone is also a Scientologist.
  • Grant Cardone recruits his followers into Scientology.
  • Grant Cardone is actually a lizard.

Anyway, lets end this piece with Grant Cardone’s proudest moment. Here he receives a ridiculously over the top and made up Scientology trophy. To win this he would have delivered thousands of prospects and hundreds of thousands of dollars into the clutches of Scientology. Enjoy…

I feel 10X More “Enthusiastic”


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